In most of the areas, we found ourselves lesser than others, especially when we were compared to something or someone by our parents, caretakers, or even teachers in school. In the balance of areas, which probably were limited to a few, we saw ourselves even better than others and developed an inflated ego. Judgments such as I am not good enough; I cannot do this or even I am better than others took a permanent stance in our psyche. Our behaviors, traits, and motives started to shape from thereon!
We want to become like what others want us to be, that is how we have learned to be appreciated. If we speak our truth or stand for what we believe is right, either we are ridiculed by our loved ones or made fun of by our friends. If we take the other extreme and stand up for what we believe in no matter what, we become rebels.
One such rebel was Keesha. Being a girl child, she was always made to feel less than adequate. Being compared to others or always proved to be not a good girl, she believed that she was not good enough for anything in life. It was then that her story of life started to reflect everything into her face that she was good (thanks to her rebellious nature) but never good enough!
It was such that there came a time in her life, she was the loneliest of all. In her accord to prove herself to be good and win the approval of her mother, she landed up being far away from her true authentic self. But her soul had a plan. A Plan that it wrote before coming into this lifetime.
Having failed in almost everything she touched; she went into depression. Anxiety attacks and suicidal tendencies were a way of life as she grew up into an adult. Yet no one acknowledged the pain and emotional turbulence she had been going through.
One day she along with her mom went to see a doctor for a disorder called hyperhidrosis. When asked what causes this problem, the doctor said that anxiety may be a reason to which her mom laughed at the doctor saying anxiety and she is the one who keeps giving anxiety to others!
Termed as a failure in her own eyes, she gained an identity of her own when she started to work. Her first job was no different.
Absconding from her first job within a month, her friend recommended her to meet a hypnotherapist. During her sessions, she started feeling relief but until she learned her soul contracts and her life plan, that permanent shift was missing. During her last session, it was revealed to her that she had to learn the lessons of Self Love and unconditional Self-acceptance and that her mother and other people whom she blamed for her state, were only acting out of the promises the souls made before coming in this life form.
This moved her… We do not have to do anything to love ourselves or prove our love for ourselves and certainly not to anybody else. Self-love is a state of unconditional acceptance of the self in each moment. Loving self is not an act or an art, it is the state of being. It is our innate nature of existence. We just must believe in our being. Accepting self unconditionally in each moment, through every experience is the ultimate key to all our persisting issues. We judge ourselves and we find ourselves to be lesser than others. We have a constant need to prove to be at par with the rest and this keeps us in the oblivion of our unique expression of self. As we recognize this gap in ourselves and the perception of self that we carry, everything starts to shift. Our physical reality starts to change. We hold on to your perceptions of ego (to be better than others) and shame (to be lesser than others) realizing little that beyond pride lies our growth and the ultimate liberation.
When we seek approval of others to believe in self, we lose the eternal charm of being the unique expression of the Divine Source, manifested in this physical form as us. Such moments of satisfaction are transient. Instead of chasing them, we must remind ourselves that we are all that is all that there is. It is each of us unique in our own expression that collectively becomes what we know as universal consciousness or God so to speak.
Remember that you are a manifestation of the Omnipotent. Witness the Almighty growing and evolving through you in each moment is indeed attaining the state of Nirvana!